Can You Pretend It’s Normal? Why?

I’m having a hell of a time pretending that the normal course of business and of life will continue somewhat unabated before the election and will then continue in some normal fashion after the election. We are in a pandemic, a life threatening pandemic, but there are restaurants that owe my trivia company money, there are programming ideas that need to get done for Purple Current and the Current. All I want to do right now is raise my kids, play music on the radio and talk to my friends in a yard. Everything else is terrible. And it’s fake terrible, these functions of life have to keep happening. They have to happen differently, but creators have to create, collectors have to collect. It’s painful to just grind into this Monday and try to do my normal life functions with so few of the life functions we used to have. How much energy could I derive from a regular old Heiruspecs rehearsal, or a show? How much enthusiasm could i find in a trip to the gym, that recentering feeling you get. You have to get it the way you can, you can get something off of lifting weights at home, off of doing an exercise video. There are substitutions, but especially once the weather gets bad we are going to have to seek analogues for so many things. I simply am not ready to face that, and aim to be legit productive and ambitious. And I feel as though I have to be. Being productive and ambitious is at the center of my identity, and finding that spark to stay that way in the face of everything about our world is eluding me super hard today. Dear void I scream into, have a wonderful day!