Don’t Worry Jim Jordan, The Same Thing Happened to Heiruspecs in Omaha

What do you know about an off night Jim Jordan? Sometimes things just keep on going in the wrong direction. Across the last seven days you’ve asked your fellow members of the House to consider you as a Speaker, and every vote, less people have voted for Jim Jordan. What is happening is that as people get to know you better, they like you worse. Don’t worry, I can’t help you, but I can comfort you.

I’m in a band called Heiruspecs, I’m sure you’ve heard of us. We were trying to make a go of it nationally in the early 2000s and making a go of it means going to Omaha. And listen Jim Jordan, every time we went to Omaha, less and less people liked us. We played the Sokol Underground in 2002. Probably about 135 paid. Wowza, Jim. You won more votes than that every time you ran a vote like this. But it bodes well. We rocked it Jimbo. If just 15% of those folks bring three of their friends we are cracking 200 paid easy baby. Two hotel rooms tonight boys, Omaha is on our side! But Jim it gets worse. When there were 135 paid, we were playing with a lot of other great artists. But Jim Jordan, we came back on our fucking own and there was probably 150 paid. Wowza, Jim. 150 paid, in Omaha. We had a great time. We drove past Warren Buffet’s house. It was a thing. Not 200, but building. Can you feel the momentum Jim? Lick your finger, put it in the air. The winds of change are blowing towards Heiruspecs Island. Maybe bout a year later we came back. 105 paid. All good Jim Jordan! Shake it off. Rainy night. Promoter said everybody had to go see Conor Oberest who was back in town to see someone play and Omaha would rather watch Conor Oberest watch a show than watch us play a show. Water under the bridge, Jim Jordan. Shit happens. Conor Oberest happens. Cool, another eight months go by. Time to make that long not strange trip to Omaha. 75 paid. What the shit Jim Jordan? Not to worry, Jimmy baby. It’s all good. New venue. Folks got to get used to it. The local opener didn’t invite anyone. Don’t worry Jim, we got this. Omaha is ours baby.!150 paid just a couple years ago. Remember that Jimmy? We got this. Next time . . . . . .? I don’t know Jim, but it wasn’t good. I’m gonna say 50 people. I remember two bartenders fighting over who would get to sell me a drink cause they were bored out of their mind Jim. Omaha doesn’t love Heiruspecs. Sure, we got one guy on Facebook who likes us. And if everyone of his fingers and toes bought tickets we still aren’t breaking even in Omaha. And Jimmy Jim Jordy Jordz, the House of Representatives is to you as Omaha is to Heiruspecs. It’s over baby.