On Holiday Parties

The 9 bus line is comically long and meandering. From my house in Saint Paul I took the 74 to the 9 to St. Louis Park to work at Jazz88 yesterday because immediately after work I’d be going to a holiday party for Trivia Mafia. I imagined I’d have some alcoholic drinks and some THC drinks and Amy, my date for the night, agreed we’d Lyft there separately and then Lyft together back to Saint Paul. I rode past 82 stops on the 9. 50 minutes. Saw things in South Minneapolis I hadn’t seen in years. Saw things in South Minneapolis I had never seen. Wonderful. Joyous. I love a long bus ride.
I am the co-owner of Trivia Mafia. Chuck is the other owner. I am the louder person, but I am the quieter owner of Trivia Mafia. Chuck does it for his full time job. Many, many people do it for their full time job. I do not. My signature says I am the assistant owner. If an employee suffers a loss like a death in the family, a pet that really mattered to them, a medical situation for them or a loved one, I order the flowers. Otherwise, for the past two years I just root for Trivia Mafia and stay friends with the team, but I don’t do anything direct. I did make the introduction between Cory Cove from KFAN and Initials and Trivia Mafia. That led us to starting Initials Game Live which has proven to be an absolute slam dunk for Trivia Mafia. So I don’t do much, but I did do one important thing that got something started right before I retired from actually working for Trivia Mafia.
Riding in the Lyft over I reflected on Trivia Mafia. We started Trivia Mafia as a weekly at 331 Club in January of 2007. Chuck and I were introduced by the staff at the 331 Club and we started gelling as a trivia duo. We were good, but I didn’t know that 18 years later we’d be at a holiday party with 140 attendees who work for us sending love to our employees who work out of the state like Greg in Omaha, Aaron in Denver and Michelle in wherever she lives. . .I think Colorado now. It’s become bigger than I can truly understand. I am on the company Slack and I feel out of my league in a league I started. People are setting automations to remind writers to generate content for theme nights that have been scheduled by a bar via an app. I used to be able to put my arms all the way around the project. I knew how to do everything. I did everything. I saw the guts get built. I fucked up things routinely. So did Chuck. He fixed my shit. I fixed his shit. My arms could wrap all the way around this thing. And now they can’t. I can never get to every restaurant that uses us. I can never meet every person that works for us. We have a thriving business in New Mexico. I can’t put my arms around New Mexico. It’s a scale I just never thought Trivia Mafia would be. If it got big I thought it would get big from my sweat, from my effort. I can’t put my arms around it so I just go to the standard playbook of owner platitudes: “thanks for working so hard” “I’ve seen what you’re doing by following along on Slack and it is really impressive” “I keep on hearing great things about our social media presence”. These things are all true, these things all matter. I appreciate all of these people more than I can express. But I can’t wrap my arms around it. There is no denying that Trivia Mafia is a business. It is an LLC that generates a profit or a loss. Chuck and I are the owners. But I cared about all these people and all these events and all this content long before it was a capital “B” business. It is a factory of fun people doing special things that bring players joy. Brenna, the saint who has been running Trivia Mafia with us for 10+ years said we have 199 active locations at the moment. This is a big factory. This is a special adventure. And I have a special role in it. But I can’t wrap my arms around it. But I can wrap my arms around Christopher (Brenna’s husband), Brenna, Amy Woo, the Shoobs, Danno, Marcus, Keith, Martha, Meghan, Eyeball and so many other amazing people who give part of their life to this factory. I can wrap my arms around that. We are a big ass business designed to create fun experiences for players, hosts and venues.
The scene is great. We are at La Dona Cerveceria. I’ve been here a number of times. Name tags. Hellos. There is a picture of Chuck and me on the image round and many many many people have no idea who we are. The factory is bigger than the boss. The factory is bigger than the history. There are people working for Trivia Mafia who understand it in a completely different way than I do. But they understand it. They love trivia. They love how we do trivia. They are flashing their wristband and enjoying a beer tonight. We are celebrating. The joy is not pointed towards anyone. At a good holiday party the joy should be pointing in every direction.

After a short game of Lotteria (from Mexico, similar to bingo) and an obligatory round of trivia the night settles into karaoke. Karaoke has been a centerpiece of Trivia Mafia holiday parties for a long time. We always use Sharon as a host. She’s the best. The list fills up quick and people start singing. Trivia hosts make for amazing karaoke singers. The best hosts have a comfort with being the center of attention without an obsession with being the center of attention. I enjoy the karaoke and also make my way around party introducing myself to some and reconnecting with people I’ve known for years. Matt Schubbe sings a Cranberries song. I’m 75% sure it’s “Dreams.” He sings the whole thing in O’Riordan’s register. He is absolutely understated, just delivering the goods and wowing the crowd and me. The moment is right for a joint outside by myself. It’s frosty cold. No one is smoking cigarettes outside. That’s great news. No one is smoking weed. If people want weed they are probably drinking it. But I was born in 1981, I miss smoking cigarettes and I enjoy a marijuana cigarette from time to time. The air is cold as shit but I’m enjoying myself and the break from socializing. I return to my date Amy Woo singing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” It’s incredible. People are singing along. Many songs being sung go completely over my head. I don’t really know My Chemical Romance, Sum41 and many other bands that click just right for people younger than me. I look around to see a crowd of folks connecting with these songs and I have no idea. I’m gravitating towards hanging with a host Colin and his wife Elise. I trained in Colin in 2015. He is now a married father of two and I think none of that was in the mix when he started working with us. We have always had a good vibe. For many years Elise would call up the Current and request C+C Music Factory “Gonna Make You Sweat” and every week I’d say “no fucking way.” I did play it for them once. . .on their wedding night. Their wedding planner brought them outside, they flipped on the stream and they heard the request. Isn’t that great? Isn’t life great? Aren’t you glad you smoked that joint? You are. Colin delivers an amazing performance of a Chapell Roan song called Pink Pony Club. It’s in a high register and Colin delivers the entire thing in his head voice. It is a show stopper. Colin at that moment is every woman in the spot’s favorite man. He is the man.

At some point a man named John steps up for karaoke and does something insane that I absolutely did not understand. The music begins and it is Hip to be Square by Huey Lewis and the News. There is no question. The title of the song has flashed, the words are starting to flash. John begins to sing “Enter Sandman.” I don’t know what the shit he is doing. But I start to sense that he has locked this thing in perfectly. Kind of like when Kevin Hunt figured out that restarting a song on the Dodge Caravan took exactly a quarter note at the tempo of “Never No More” by Souls of Mischief. Thus, with a well timed tap on beat 4 of bar 8 one could freestyle forever in the car over that Hieroglyphics beat. When the groove drops out and Huey should be saying “it’s hip to be square” John death rattle squeals “off to never never land” and I believe I have urinated in my pants and also fallen in love with this dude. The phenomenon sort of cycles through the room. People start to hone in. It doesn’t need to be explained nor can it be. People are just nudging their friends or stopping mid-sentence and taking in the splendor of a karaoke take over. Sharon doesn’t know what to do. And then John air sax solos and then grabs the last half of “Hip to be Square.” I know that this will be the apex of the night. If Amy Winehouse came back to life and sang Valerie that would be second place. This “Hip to Be the Sandman” thing is a known gag and it is brilliant. Check it out.

The party goes on. I know I will do some amount of work at the end of the party. Put some shit away. Move some tables. I look forward to this. It will make me feel better about being an owner of a profitable company who doesn’t get his hands dirty anymore. I move some tables. Bring some empties up. Move a table or two. A plan is coalescing. We will got to Otter’s Saloon where we will sing more karaoke. Colin and Elise offer to drive me. They say they will move the baby seats. I know in my soul I wouldn’t move baby seats for them unless it was the last option. I feel a bit like a turd, but I also want a ride.
Otter’s Saloon is perfect. Weird, gruff and eccentric door guy wearing a cowboy hat. Kind of full. PBS News unexplainably on one of the TVs. Full bar but not too full. There’s no karaoke stage. It’s just two screens and two mics. This is ideal. Karaoke is the people’s entertainment. I run into an old acquaintance and make the mistake of the “how is your husband” and she says “we’re getting a divorce.” I am a connector so I always want to establish the ways we know each other and pursue those connections. . .but I feel like such a shit. She is chill about it and we are catching up. The crew is getting an elite seating situation and starting to get a little love from the regulars. At one point the door guy comes right up to me and playfully squares up with me. I look him straight in the eye to see where we are headed. He puts his arms on me, not a fan of that, and then he kind of half hugs me. Weird but I see he sort of this he’s part of the entertainment. I know I am part of the entertainment. There are some I-guarantee-you-these-white-girls-are-from-Columbia Heights-girls and they are singing Destiny’s Child and deeper r&b. The vibes are going from good to great. A strange older man who looks a little like Mystery Man from Mulholland Drive sings me a Billy Joel song directly to me face. It’s strange but at this point the weed is happening and I’m all the way in.

The night at this point is better than the magic nights I spend too much of my life trying to recreate. This is the best Trivia Mafia holiday party. This is a great night. I am in the bar. I am dancing a little bit. I am dressed spectacularly. I am a magnificent person in a magnificent moment. I’m with probably about seven or eight people. There’s always a watch the karaoke option. There’s also usually conversation available. Amy sings a weird song about Arkansas I don’t understand. There are layers of communication happening tonight. We have made mini karaoke friendships with a group of four girls next to us. We aren’t having big talks, they aren’t sitting with us. But we are commenting on the quality of the singers and the songs. We are making room for each other. ONE OF THESE FUCKING GIRLS TRIES TO UPDOG ME. YOU CAN’T UPDOG ME KARINA. I’M 43 YEARS OLD. Here’s how it happens. Elise is going up to sing a song and she talks to Karina. I ask Karina if she’s singing with Elise. Karina says “I’m just hyping for her.” After the song gets going I say to Karina “she’s doing good” and I EXCREMENT YOU NOT Karina says “SHE’S GOT THAT UPDOG.” This is unbelievable. She should be arrested, or at least cut off, or at least she should be critiqued. Not this time Karina. I don’t fall for it. Of course I don’t fall for it. I’m 43 years old. YOU CAN’T UPDOG ME.

Amy’s friend Meghan shows up and we go deeper than we ever have which is still not that deep. I can’t remember the details but I realize she has a depth of spirit and relation to the world that I just didn’t know she had. You spend years talking about bullshit between drinks at large hangs and bars and maybe you get to thinking that’s all there is to somebody. You don’t think it’s bad. You just think that’s it to her. And then suddenly some corner of her day opens up in conversation and you realize her soul goes all the places yours does and places yours doesn’t. You want to have a coffee with her for the first time in your life. And more than what you might find out over the coffee, more than the layers you peel back together, you just enjoy the coffee more knowing there’s layers to her. We can talk about bullshit over beers for another fifteen years but every moment will feel different now that I imagine the layers.

That’s it. That’s the night. I make it home. I am overwhelmed with this joy. I make my way home and hit the hay so I can have my shit together tomorrow. A part of life is being a part of a thing you don’t understand. I don’t understand Trivia Mafia. But I am a part of it. I’ll see you at the holiday party next year.