The Other Problem With Cancelled Musicians

Before I get to my main point: I disagree with the popular term “cancelled”. We often use the term cancelled for things we loved that were terminated by a faceless force like network TV, like Freaks and Geeks. You can’t cancel a person. And when we hear about a show being cancelled we think of it as outside of the control of the creators of the show. Freaks and Geeks got cancelled from on high by NBC. The musicians who got cancelled, they got cancelled not by NBC but by sexting 17 year olds, or by jumping out of closets naked with their hands on their junk. NBC wasn’t involved in your manual stimulation. The behaviors that caused them to be publicly reprimanded were not manufactured out of thin air. There may be details the musicians disagree with, there may be inaccurate statements, but I haven’t seen someone called out for absolutely nothing. My last bit on my soapbox: contrary to what the cancelled say, there is totally levels to this. People act like everyone is painted with the same brush. Are you serious? Some folks come out of serious allegations with a serious knock to their fame, to their respect, to their standing. Some folks get called out, but still navigate their way back into the conversation. And some people have done things that are horrendous, but they convincingly apologize, seek to repair the situation, take the allegations seriously. It is not one size fits all and if you think that I bet it is because that conclusion favors you and your situation.

But here’s the main thing. The biggest issue with terrible behavior of a sexual nature by musicians is that it has severely negatively impacted a fellow human’s life. Many, thought not all, of these victims are women. They have been violated and treated poorly, often by someone they formerly thought was a stand up, decent person. The accusations are almost never singular. They are almost always a part of a pattern. You can not believe in a lot of things, but I bet you believe in patterns. If you always get sick from eating the chili at Wendy’s you stop eating the chili at Wendy’s. If your friend says they went to Wendy’s once and they got sick off the chili it probably doesn’t change your chili outlook all that much. But six people got sick from the same chili? Fuck that chili. You really think 10 women got together to lie on you. . .to besmirch your semi-good name? Nope, I believe in patterns. Five women talking the same behavior, that behavior has some truth to it. And when I know it’s a pattern, I know it’s a part of your life. And here’s why after I hear these stories I have a hard time coming back to your music. . .you aren’t putting the you I now know about into your music. And you weren’t putting the you I now have to confront into the records I listened to before. If something that is part of your daily routine is sliding into DMs thousands of times with women decades younger than you, or hopping out of closets with your business in your hand. . .that never made it into a chorus? A bridge? An outro? No, you can’t engage your art with these behaviors. And everyone presents a different version of themselves on stage than the one as they truly are. But this is a gaping wide hole. This means that your presentation of your self is really selective. You don’t go deep into yourself. And the truth is, if you did, you’d be in even more trouble. But I’ve built up these expectations for my favorite artists: if you go through a divorce, I’m anticipating a divorce album. If you have a baby, baby album. Sober, sober album. Trading pills for sexual favors. . .probably gonna sing about something else. Forcing yourself on woman backstage. . .the songs will be about romantic love. I like to think with the really talented writers, I’m getting some takes on what is central to them, I’m getting songs that get to their core. And that’s what makes this triply scary. . .what if behaviors like this are things you do and it doesn’t even hit you in your soul? What if pouncing on an inebriated woman backstage is just another god damn Tuesday for you? It’s just a thing you do like buying a toothbrush when you need a new one. . .I don’t expect to hear a song about your toothbrush. But your abuses are so workaday. . .so quixotic that they won’t jump onto the page for you?

There is an honesty, rawness and an ability to share oneself that I expect from the writers in our world. I don’t love the folks who are pure craft. I love the folks who put themselves into their music, they grapple with their life in parts of their work. And when I think about these seismic accusations, these clarifying pieces of information about someone’s personal life. I then realize that all the records are going to come up short after this. You’re not going to talk about the behaviors, you’re not going to talk about the accusations. You’re not going to defend yourself, and you’re not going to condemn yourself. You’re going to ask everyone to believe that these patterns, these stories, believe that they’re cooked up, materialized out of thin air, that these patterns that last years, that span area codes, they’re bogus. You want to keep on writing the same kind of songs about the same kind of relationships you don’t seem to actually be having. There’s a disconnect. There’s a pattern. You’re not cancelled, you’re out in the light and you look worrisome. Worrisome.